Flight to Quito
I’m not sure how anyone could ever say that this makes sense. To leave comfort, and trade it in for confusion. To leave ease, and trade it in for exhaustion. To leave routine, and trade it in for risk. To leave health, and trade it in for hazard.
But this lop sided bargain is exactly what I’m doing. For the second year in a row now. Maybe I’m losing my mind. Or maybe that’s just what love is. Unexplainable, incomprehensible craziness.
Maybe love wasn’t meant to be comfortable. If it was, if we never went outside of our comfort zone, life, and love, would be boring.
Maybe love shouldn’t be easy. It should be worth fighting for. If it were to come too easy, then what value would it hold? My guess would be little to none.
And love certainly should not be something of a routine. Something habitual, something predictable. Something mindless and careless and robotic. It should be spontaneous. Spontaneity prevents stagnation.
Everything seems so upside down. I’m looking down on the clouds. I’m flying to a country whose name translates to mean “equator” and I have packed little besides jeans and sweatshirts. My nail polish is chipped, which never happens, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t know what exactly it is that I want to say.
There are no guarantees. In 8 hours, I board a plane bound for Quito. I’m going to go to a place that doesn’t know my language, a land that doesn’t think toilet paper or toilet seats even are necessary. A country where white people are a vast minority, and where I have a target on my back.
I know I will land around midnight. I know I will pick my black suitcase up at baggage claim. I know I will board a bus soon after, and arrive at my hotel around 3 am. I will be told to meet for breakfast at 7. From there, my life is a mystery.
In two words, my next ten days are upside-down unknowns.
But I can only remember one other time in all my life where I felt this content, this secure, this loved, this sure of my future. It was a year ago, and I was sitting in a seat similar to this one.
Sure of my future when it consists of upside-down unknowns?
The absurdity of my situation is glaring. Nothing makes sense. Nothing, but this chorus.
I know who stands before me. I know who goes behind. The God of angel armies, it always by my side. The One who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies, is always by my side.
I’m going for Him. He is here with my now, keeping me on my feet in this upside down world that He placed me in. And He is already there, waiting for me. Beckoning me ever closer. And anchor to keep me grounded to Him and a propellor to push me forward into the questions that don’t have answers. He is both, He is there and here, an anchor and propellor.
And that is why I am doing this. Why I am going. Why the unexplainable, incomprehensible, crazy, absurdity makes sense. That’s the only explanation I need.