Magic Beans Still Exist
To be completely honest, this started as a joke. I was working with a middle school student, attempting to instill the art of essay writing. I wrote a basic, generic outline for him to follow in the future, and a sample essay for him as well. Needless to say, I clearly am the only one who enjoyed myself. I think he is still trying to come up with his thesis statement.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the magic beans from Jack and the Beanstalk? Well, I know what happened. The Giant hid them in plain sight, and I can prove it. Magic beans still exist because they turn sleep deprived zombies into fully functioning, productive adults every single morning. They exist all over the world, and are distinct in every region. Like only magic and magnets can, they bring people together to congregate around them. Life giving properties, a world-wide presence, and a magnetic draw prove that magic beans still exist.
Magic beans are brewed into a magical potion that can make even the most sleep deprived alive and well again. College kids can pull all-nighters. Truck drivers can drive cross country and deliver everything from fresh shrimp to new flat screen TV’s. Soccer moms can clean the house, prepare a snack and help with homework, get the kids to practice, and then dinner, bath, and bed without blinking. Business men can get the red eye back to New York so they can seal the deal. A normal bean without magical properties could not be able to do this.
These beans have a worldwide presence and define the regions in which they grow, proving their resilient, powerful, magical nature. Hawaii is known for its specialty blend called Kona. Colombian blends are also quite popular. Italian espresso, dark French Roasts, and the Turkish variety are not only vastly different, but a crucial part of their individual cultures. These magic beans have permeated the culture, taking over the breakfast hour and became the remedy for the 3 o’clock crash. There are entire shops in every country dedicated to this magical bean. Nothing normal has the ability to be this global.
Nothing else has the magnetic draw that these magic beans do. People congregate over them, go on first dates over its aromatic brew, and bring it with them into important board meetings. Friends gather to catch up with a potion brewed from these magical beans. Buildings dedicated to serving these magic beans and its powerful potion serve as a modern day watering hole or town square- a place where people gather to discuss everything from politics to ponies. Tensions fade and stressors melt away as people gather around steaming hot mugs of magical goodness.
The energizing and life giving properties of these beans, their global presence and prominence, and their ability to bring people together is proof positive that they are indeed magical. Nothing else can make the sleep deprived awake and excited. Nothing else is this noteworthy worldwide, or helps define the region in which it is found. Nothing else encourages congregation and conversation. Jack’s magic beans still exist and are hidden in plain sight. And I know, because I have a stash in my pantry.